Melanie had always been drawn to stability and confidence, qualities she found in abundance in married men. It wasn’t something she sought out intentionally—it just happened. Every time she met someone new who intrigued her, she would discover, almost inevitably, a wedding band tucked away. It made her uneasy, the pattern of her attractions, but it was a fact she couldn’t deny.

One evening, at a coworker’s retirement party, Melanie found herself seated next to Nathan, a new manager from a different department. He was charming, intelligent, and, to Melanie’s dismay, he wore a gold band on his left hand. As they talked, Melanie felt the familiar stir of interest and the accompanying twinge of guilt.

Later that night, lying awake in bed, she thought about Nathan and the easy way he had made her laugh. She also thought about the ring that signified his commitment to someone else. It was a moment of clarity. Melanie realized she needed to understand what drew her to unavailable men. Was it a fear of commitment, a feeling that these relationships were safe because they had built-in boundaries?

Determined to break the pattern, Melanie sought the help of a therapist. Through months of candid sessions, she uncovered deeper issues related to her self-esteem and her distorted belief that true affection must be earned from those hardest to reach.

Armed with new self-awareness, Melanie made a conscious decision to change her dating habits. She started to seek out men who were not just confident and stable but also available. It was challenging at first, and she often found herself slipping into old habits, but she was committed to growth.

A year later, Melanie met Alex at a bookstore. He was perusing the literature section, and they struck up a conversation about their favorite authors. Alex was different. He was single, insightful, and shared her love for novels. Over coffee, they talked for hours, and for the first time in a long time, Melanie felt a connection that was wholesome and promising.

Melanie’s journey wasn’t about vilifying her past but understanding it. By facing her fears and her needs head-on, she found the kind of love she truly deserved—one that was meant just for her, without the shadows of another’s claim.