{"id":12397,"date":"2024-10-23T21:29:02","date_gmt":"2024-10-23T21:29:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/?p=12397"},"modified":"2024-10-23T21:29:02","modified_gmt":"2024-10-23T21:29:02","slug":"fading-reflections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/?p=12397","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Fading Reflections&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-12398\" src=\"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/463450646_1570938123629381_5996454792563876027_n-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1080\" height=\"1350\" srcset=\"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/463450646_1570938123629381_5996454792563876027_n-1.jpg 1080w, https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/463450646_1570938123629381_5996454792563876027_n-1-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/463450646_1570938123629381_5996454792563876027_n-1-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/463450646_1570938123629381_5996454792563876027_n-1-768x960.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1080px) 100vw, 1080px\" \/><\/p><div class=\"311fe198f191a864c1efcdfa9efedfdf\" data-index=\"3\" style=\"float: none; margin:0px 0 0px 0; text-align:center;\">\n<div data-type=\"_mgwidget\" data-widget-id=\"1782571\">\r\n<\/div>\r\n<script>(function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push([\"_mgc.load\"])})(window,\"_mgq\");\r\n<\/script>\r\n\n<\/div>\n\n<p>It started as a joke. We were lying in bed, and he casually asked about my ex, curious about how we met, what he was like. I answered without thinking too much about it\u2014after all, the past is the past. But then it became more than curiosity.<\/p>\n<p>The questions kept coming. &#8220;Did he make you laugh more?&#8221; &#8220;Was he better in bed?&#8221; &#8220;Do you think about him when you&#8217;re with me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At first, I tried to reassure him. I told him the truth\u2014those men were chapters that I\u2019ve closed, pages I\u2019ve turned. But no matter what I said, his mind wouldn\u2019t let go. It\u2019s like he\u2019s stuck in a mirror, reflecting every insecurity he has onto me, searching for reasons to believe he\u2019s less than what I need.<\/p>\n<p>I never thought I&#8217;d be living in someone else\u2019s shadow, especially not one from my past. The comparison is constant. Sometimes I wonder if he gets a sick satisfaction from it, like he\u2019s punishing himself, as if that somehow redeems him.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know what to call it\u2014retroactive jealousy, maybe? But it\u2019s more than that. It\u2019s like he\u2019s in a constant state of fear, afraid that the ghosts of my past are going to steal me away from him. I wish I could make him see that I\u2019m here, with him, now.<\/p>\n<p>But the more he fixates on what was, the more I feel us slipping. How can we build a future when he&#8217;s still clinging to someone else\u2019s reflection?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div id=\"allow-copy_covered_elem_id_1729718929918\" class=\"allow-copy_cover allow-copy_cover__minimized allow-copy_cover__on-elem\" style=\"top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 740px; height: 925px;\" data-check-covered-elem-position-interval=\"4\">\n<ul class=\"allow-copy_cover-actions\">\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_grab-btn\" title=\"Grab Text\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_copy-to-clipboard-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Copy full text to clipboard\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_reset-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Clear Text\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action  allow-copy_maximize-btn\" title=\"Maximize\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_minimize-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Minimize\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_beta-icon \" title=\"Sorry :( \nIt is beta functionality.\nIt can works incorrectly.\nTurn off in setting if you dislike it.\">Beta<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span class=\"allow-copy__beta-testing-label\" title=\"Sorry :( \nIt is beta functionality.\nIt can works incorrectly.\nTurn off in setting if you dislike it.\">Beta feature<i class=\"allow-copy__settings\">  <\/i><\/span><\/div>\n<div id=\"allow-copy_covered_elem_id_1729718932973\" class=\"allow-copy_cover allow-copy_cover__minimized\" style=\"top: 26px; left: 10px; width: 740px; height: 925px;\" data-check-covered-elem-position-interval=\"8\">\n<ul class=\"allow-copy_cover-actions\">\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_grab-btn\" title=\"Grab Text\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_copy-to-clipboard-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Copy full text to clipboard\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_reset-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Clear Text\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action  allow-copy_maximize-btn\" title=\"Maximize\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_minimize-btn allow-copy__hidden\" title=\"Minimize\"><\/li>\n<li class=\"allow-copy_cover-action allow-copy_beta-icon \" title=\"Sorry :( \nIt is beta functionality.\nIt can works incorrectly.\nTurn off in setting if you dislike it.\">Beta<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span class=\"allow-copy__beta-testing-label\" title=\"Sorry :( \nIt is beta functionality.\nIt can works incorrectly.\nTurn off in setting if you dislike it.\">Beta feature<i class=\"allow-copy__settings\">  <\/i><\/span><\/div>\n\n<div style=\"font-size: 0px; height: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 0; padding: 0; clear: both;\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It started as a joke. We were lying in bed, and he casually asked about my ex, curious about how we met, what he was like. I&#8230; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12397"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12399,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12397\/revisions\/12399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findpath.xyz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}