I never imagined that my past would cast such a long shadow over my marriage. My husband, a man I once thought was confident and secure, has recently developed a deep insecurity—something I’ve come to learn is called retrojealousy. Day after day, he compares himself to the men I once loved or even casually dated, as if he’s in competition with ghosts. He constantly asks questions about them, how they treated me, whether I was happier with them. I can sense his anxiety whenever we talk about the past, and it’s wearing us both down.

I find it exhausting. No matter how much I reassure him that he is the man I chose to spend my life with, it never seems enough. His constant need for validation is suffocating, and in his mind, he’s always trying to measure up to some impossible ideal—someone I might have once cared for but who no longer holds any significance in my life.

I try to keep our relationship afloat, but this pattern is draining me. Sometimes, I feel like I’m being punished for loving before I met him. I wonder if this behavior is a form of weakness—perhaps even “cucked” behavior, though that term feels too harsh. Regardless of what it’s called, it’s tearing us apart, and I’m left wondering if he will ever free himself from this jealousy, or if it will always haunt us.