I never thought my past would have such a strong hold on my marriage. My husband has always been loving, but lately, his constant comparisons to the men I dated before him are starting to wear me down. It’s almost as if every story I share, every experience from before we met, becomes a trigger for his insecurity. He keeps asking me questions about them, almost as if he’s competing with ghosts. I thought we’d moved past all that when we got married, but it’s like my past has somehow seeped into our present, and I’m not sure how to reassure him that none of it matters anymore. Is this normal?

It’s heartbreaking because I see how much it affects him, yet there’s nothing I can do to change what’s already happened. Every time I share a memory or even mention a place I once visited, he goes silent, and I know what’s coming next. His jealousy isn’t just about the men—it’s about the idea that I had a life before him, experiences and relationships he wasn’t part of. I want him to know that he is the one who matters now, but no matter what I say, his fears seem to grow. And as much as I love him, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll always be living in the shadow of my own past.