Every argument seems to come back to the same point: men from my past. My husband can’t seem to let go of them, constantly comparing himself to them, wondering if they did something better, if I loved them more. It’s exhausting, and I’m starting to wonder how much longer I can handle this. We’re supposed to be building a future together, but it feels like he’s stuck in a past that I’ve long moved on from. I don’t know how to help him see that those men don’t matter anymore. Is this normal for a marriage, or am I fighting a losing battle?

I’ve tried everything—open conversations, reassurance, avoiding certain topics—yet nothing seems to break this cycle. I can see the toll it’s taking on him, on us. It’s as though he’s fighting invisible ghosts, men who no longer play any role in my life, yet they’re alive and well in his mind. Sometimes, it feels like our marriage is a battlefield where his insecurity and my past are always at odds. And the worst part? I feel helpless. I’ve already left the past behind, but he’s the one keeping it alive, and I don’t know if we can truly move forward until he’s ready to let go of this need to compare.