I never thought my past would come back to haunt me in my marriage, but it does—through him. My husband’s jealousy isn’t the typical kind; it’s retroactive. He’s constantly comparing himself to the men I’ve been with before we met, as though he’s competing in an invisible race. It started with small comments, subtle questions about who I used to date or where I went with them. I didn’t think much of it then, but now it’s impossible to ignore. Every conversation seems to circle back to my past. He questions whether I loved them more, whether I had more fun or felt more connected.

I’ve tried explaining that my past relationships don’t define what we have, but it’s like he doesn’t believe me. No matter what I say, he seems fixated on proving he’s “better” than the men before him. It’s exhausting, really. He’ll bring up old stories I told him in confidence, like that time I went to Paris with an ex or the birthday surprise one of them gave me. He picks them apart, looking for cracks to prove his superiority. But I never wanted to compare; I’ve left those memories behind for a reason.

It hurts to see him like this, trapped in his insecurities. I love him for who he is now, not because he’s competing with ghosts. But how do I make him see that? It feels like I’m losing him to a battle I never asked for. I find myself walking on eggshells, censoring what I say, fearing that even the most innocent mention of the past will trigger his jealousy. I just want us to focus on what we have, but it feels like we’re always stuck in reverse.