My husband can’t let go of the men I’ve been with. No matter how much time passes, he finds ways to bring them up. Sometimes, it’s in casual conversation, other times in arguments. It’s always lurking—his need to compare himself to my past. At first, I thought it was normal, maybe just curiosity, but now it’s suffocating.

I hate feeling like I have to reassure him constantly. I love him, I chose him, and that should be enough. But it’s not. Every now and then, he’ll ask me if I still think about my exes or if they were “better” at certain things. It’s embarrassing, frustrating, and hurtful all at once. I find myself over-explaining, downplaying parts of my past, all in an attempt to make him feel secure.

What bothers me most is that I never feel like he’s fully with me in the present. It’s like we’re stuck in this loop, where no matter how good things are, he pulls us back into the shadows of what came before. I want us to live in the moment, to build memories that are ours alone. But his jealousy gets in the way, making it feel like we’re always comparing ourselves to an unseen opponent.