I never thought the echoes of my past would cause so much tension in my marriage. My husband, once confident and loving, has become consumed by retroactive jealousy. He constantly compares himself to the men I once dated, men I barely even think about anymore. But for him, they’re ever-present shadows lurking in our conversations and his thoughts.

It started innocently enough—he’d ask about an ex, curious about who they were and what they meant to me. But soon, the questions became relentless. He wanted to know everything: how they made me feel, what we did together, how he measured up. I tried to reassure him, but nothing I said seemed to ease his insecurities. Instead, it fueled a need in him to prove he was somehow better, more deserving than these ghosts of my past.

The comparison has become exhausting. No matter how much I tell him he’s the one I chose, the one I love, he can’t let go. It’s as if he believes that, in some way, those old relationships diminish what we have now. His jealousy isn’t just about the past; it’s about his fear that he’s not enough for me, that he’s competing with memories that, for me, hold no weight anymore.

I find myself questioning how to move forward. Is it strange for him to be so fixated on something that no longer exists for me? His constant need for reassurance is draining, and I fear it’s eroding the very bond he’s trying to protect. How can we have a future if he can’t stop living in the past? The more he clings to these comparisons, the more distance I feel between us, and I’m left wondering if we’ll ever find peace from these ghosts.