Every time I think we’ve moved past it, my husband’s retroactive jealousy rears its ugly head. It’s always the same—he’ll ask me about a man from my past, pretending it’s just curiosity, but I can see the doubt in his eyes. He’s not asking because he wants to know me better; he’s asking because he’s comparing himself, trying to measure up to relationships that ended long ago.
It’s hard to understand why he’s so fixated on men who don’t matter anymore. I’ve told him countless times that those relationships are over for a reason, that I’m with him because I love him. But no matter how much reassurance I give, it’s like he’s stuck in this cycle of doubt.
He’ll bring up old boyfriends at the most random times—when we’re watching TV, when we’re out with friends, even during intimate moments. It’s as if he can’t let go of the idea that maybe, just maybe, I loved someone else more than I love him. But that’s not true. If it were, I wouldn’t be here, would I?
I don’t know how to fix this. His jealousy is wearing me down, making me feel like I’m constantly defending myself against something that doesn’t exist. I love him, but I’m starting to wonder if love is enough when one person can’t stop living in the past.
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