I’m Sarah, 48 years old, and I’ve experienced something that most people would find absolutely crazy. Some men—guys who are in committed relationships—have offered up the women in their lives to my husband in exchange for having me. It’s surreal, but what’s even crazier is how it makes me feel.

The idea that someone would be willing to share the most precious woman in their life, just to have a night with me, drives me wild. It’s hard to explain, but the thought of it instantly excites me. There’s something so powerful about the whole exchange—knowing that they see me as valuable, desirable enough to make that offer.

When it happens, when I know that another woman is being given to my husband while I’m desired in return, the thrill is almost too much to handle. It makes me feel worthy, like I’m on a pedestal, and that feeling is intoxicating. The power, the excitement, the way it makes me feel like I’m at the center of this wild exchange—it’s beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.

I never imagined I’d find myself in situations like this, but now that I have, there’s no denying how much it excites me. The fact that these men are willing to share their partners for a chance with me… it gives me a sense of control, of being wanted in a way that’s raw and intense. It’s a kind of worth that goes beyond words, and it drives me crazy—in the best way possible.