I had been married for 10 years, and in the beginning, everything seemed perfect. But as the years passed, the truth of my husband’s actions began to unravel. He had cheated on me numerous times in those early years, and though I was young and naive, I chose to forgive him, hoping to build a life, a family, and a future together. We had children, and I convinced myself that things would change—that love would conquer all.
But as time went on, a slow, festering resentment began to grow inside me. By the time we were five or six years into our marriage, the bitterness took root. I couldn’t forget the betrayals, no matter how much I wanted to, and I began to feel trapped in a marriage that seemed to steal more of me each day.
Eventually, I started feeling a dangerous pull toward other men. It was never about love, but more about a need to feel desired, a need to fill the void that had grown between us. These urges were powerful, and though I didn’t act on them physically, I began to reach out emotionally—texting and flirting behind his back. I found myself longing for the attention I once craved from him, but could never fully receive. All I could think about during those fleeting moments of connection with others was what it would feel like to escape, to be free from the chains of our broken relationship.
The love I once felt for him was slowly being replaced by anger and a yearning for something different, something more. It became harder and harder to remember the reasons I stayed, the reasons I forgave. All I knew was that I was no longer the same person I had been when we first met. Now, every touch felt like a reminder of the pain, every moment together tainted by a past I couldn’t erase. The man I had once loved so deeply was now the source of my deepest sorrow.
This was no longer a story of love, but of survival. A survival in a marriage where the betrayal cut deeper than words could express. I lived with the memories, the regrets, and the lingering question—was it worth holding on, or would it have been better to let go?
