I had always believed that my boyfriend, Alex, and I were destined to be together. We had been dating for almost two years, and during that time, I had fallen deeply in love with him. Our connection felt undeniable, and I thought he was the one I would spend my life with. But recently, something had changed. Alex had become distant, emotionally checked out, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was losing him.

No matter what I did—whether it was dressing up, planning special dates, or showering him with affection—it seemed like none of it mattered. He wasn’t as interested in me as he used to be, and I found myself spiraling, desperate for his attention and affection. I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong, but I was determined to fight for our relationship. I wanted to prove to Alex that I was worth fighting for.

In that desperation, I made a decision that I never thought I would. I decided to sleep with his best friend, Ryan. Ryan and Alex had been inseparable since their college days, always together, always laughing. The bond they shared was strong, and in my twisted logic, I thought that if Alex saw me with Ryan, it would make him jealous. He’d realize how much he loved me, how much he needed me, and we’d go back to the way we used to be. Or at least, that’s what I thought.

Ryan, oblivious to my true motives, had always been kind to me. We flirted occasionally, nothing serious, but I could tell he was attracted to me. One night, after Alex canceled plans yet again, I found myself at Ryan’s apartment. I told myself it was just to talk, but deep down, I knew what I was doing. We drank, and before I could stop it, things escalated. I slept with him, thinking that somehow, this would fix everything with Alex.

The morning after, regret hit me like a tidal wave. It wasn’t the victory I had imagined; instead, I felt hollow, disgusted with myself. I had betrayed not only Alex but also Ryan, who had no idea he was part of my plan to manipulate Alex’s feelings. The guilt was suffocating, but even worse was the realization that what I had done wouldn’t bring Alex back to me. If anything, I had just made everything worse.

Now, I’m left with the consequences of my actions, unsure if I can ever face Alex or Ryan again. The truth weighs heavily on me, and I don’t know how—or if—I’ll ever be able to undo the damage I’ve caused. I wanted to save my relationship, but instead, I might have destroyed it forever.