It started as a joke. We were lying in bed, and he casually asked about my ex, curious about how we met, what he was like. I answered without thinking too much about it—after all, the past is the past. But then it became more than curiosity.

The questions kept coming. “Did he make you laugh more?” “Was he better in bed?” “Do you think about him when you’re with me?”

At first, I tried to reassure him. I told him the truth—those men were chapters that I’ve closed, pages I’ve turned. But no matter what I said, his mind wouldn’t let go. It’s like he’s stuck in a mirror, reflecting every insecurity he has onto me, searching for reasons to believe he’s less than what I need.

I never thought I’d be living in someone else’s shadow, especially not one from my past. The comparison is constant. Sometimes I wonder if he gets a sick satisfaction from it, like he’s punishing himself, as if that somehow redeems him.

I don’t know what to call it—retroactive jealousy, maybe? But it’s more than that. It’s like he’s in a constant state of fear, afraid that the ghosts of my past are going to steal me away from him. I wish I could make him see that I’m here, with him, now.

But the more he fixates on what was, the more I feel us slipping. How can we build a future when he’s still clinging to someone else’s reflection?