My husband’s cousin staying with us is creating a lot of tension for me, and I’m unsure of the best way to deal with it. It was meant to be a temporary arrangement, a couple of weeks at most. He had lost his job and was between apartments, so my husband offered him a place to stay while he figured things out. I agreed, not thinking much of it at the time. But now, only a few days in, I can feel the weight of his presence in ways I didn’t expect.

The tension isn’t just mine to hold—our entire household feels different. My husband and I have always had a rhythm, a way we move around each other, little routines and habits that make our home ours. Now, everything feels disrupted. I find myself anticipating where his cousin might be before I enter a room or wondering how he’ll respond if I put on a show I enjoy in the living room. It’s a constant calculation of how to navigate the space that used to feel completely ours.

He isn’t doing anything outright offensive; in fact, he’s quiet, almost too quiet. But his silence feels weighty, as if he’s always listening or observing. He rarely initiates conversation, only answering with one-word responses or nods, but he’s always there, just close enough to feel his presence. It’s unnerving, especially since he never quite shares what he’s planning to do next or how long he thinks he’ll stay.

I’ve talked with my husband about it, though carefully, trying not to sound like I’m overreacting. He reassures me, saying his cousin is just introverted and feeling down. “Give him a little more time,” he says, trying to ease my discomfort. I want to be supportive, but I can’t deny this feeling that I’m tiptoeing around my own home.

I thought about setting some boundaries—small things like asking him to let us know when he’ll be home or if he plans to stay out. But part of me worries that will only create more awkwardness, and I don’t want to come across as inhospitable. Instead, I’ve adjusted my own routines, spending more time out of the house or busying myself with tasks in different rooms. It’s strange, feeling like a guest in my own space.

The tension is also creeping into my relationship with my husband. We used to spend our evenings unwinding together, sharing stories about our day. Now, our conversations feel restrained, punctuated by careful glances to see if his cousin is nearby. I’m caught between wanting to support him in helping his family and needing my home to feel like my sanctuary again.

Part of me wonders if I’m being too sensitive, if I should just accept the situation and wait it out. But every day, as the discomfort builds, I feel less like myself. I don’t know if there’s a right answer, but I do know that something has to change before this tension becomes too much to bear.