Having my husband’s cousin here is unsettling, and I’m not sure how to manage my discomfort. He arrived suddenly, in need of a place to stay after some personal struggles. My husband didn’t hesitate to offer our home, and I supported his decision; family comes first, after all. But since his cousin has moved in, my sense of comfort and privacy has started slipping away.

It’s hard to put into words what exactly bothers me, especially since he hasn’t done anything obviously inappropriate. He’s polite, keeps to himself, and doesn’t intrude on our routines. But there’s something about him, something in the way he exists in our home, that leaves me feeling uneasy. It’s his presence—intense, quiet, almost too observant. I’ll be doing something mundane, like cooking or folding laundry, and I’ll look up to find him nearby, watching with an unsettling focus.

I try to tell myself that he’s just dealing with his own struggles, perhaps feeling a bit lost or out of place. But his silence feels loaded, almost like he’s holding back, not quite fitting into the rhythms of our household. Every now and then, he’ll make an offhand comment, something slightly too personal, catching me off guard and leaving me at a loss for how to respond.

My husband, though, sees none of this. “He’s just quiet,” he says. “He’s going through a lot, and we need to give him some grace.” I want to believe that, to let it go and wait it out. But I’m finding it increasingly difficult to relax, feeling like I’m under constant watch. I’ve even started altering my daily routines—waiting until he leaves to do certain things, or staying longer at work just to avoid the tension.

I know I need to address it, but how do you bring up discomfort that’s so intangible? I don’t want to offend or disrupt family ties, yet I can’t keep sacrificing my peace. I need to find a way to manage this, for my own well-being and for the balance of our home.