For a while now, I’ve been navigating a quiet, almost invisible loneliness in my marriage. It’s not something we talk about openly, and it’s not even something I’ve fully admitted to myself until recently. But there it is—a growing feeling that I’m no longer appreciated, no longer seen in the way I once was. The appreciation, the admiration, and the attention that were once so natural between us seem to have faded, like colors on a beloved but well-worn photograph.

When I look back to the early days, I remember a time when we both made each other feel special. There was a warmth in the way my partner looked at me, a spark that told me I was admired for who I was. Even the smallest gestures—a thoughtful compliment, a lingering look, or the surprise of an unexpected hug—were reminders that I was seen and cherished. Those moments had a way of making me feel like I was worth noticing, like there was something about me that sparked joy and admiration. But now, I feel as though those moments are slipping away, and I miss them deeply.

It’s hard to describe just how important it is to feel admired by the person you love. I don’t crave constant validation, but it would mean the world to know that I’m still someone worth admiring, that there are qualities about me my partner still finds captivating. I’m not asking for grand gestures or elaborate declarations; I just long for a sign—a word, a touch, even a look—that reassures me I’m still worthy of attention and affection.

Perhaps this feeling is part of the natural ebb and flow of long-term relationships, a phase that most couples go through. But I can’t help but wonder if we could find our way back to those small acts of appreciation that once came so easily. I want to believe that, with some effort and intention, we could rebuild that sense of admiration. Maybe it starts with a conversation, a gentle reminder that I need to feel seen again, that I want to be appreciated not just for what I do, but for who I am.

At the same time, I’m realizing how important it is to find that appreciation within myself, independent of anyone else’s gaze. I know that my worth doesn’t solely come from my partner’s attention, and maybe, by embracing my own unique qualities and strengths, I can reignite the spark I long for. I want to stand confidently in the knowledge that I am still worth admiring and worthy of attention, and I hope that, in doing so, my partner will begin to see me in that way too. Because ultimately, feeling truly appreciated and admired is something I don’t want to lose—it’s something worth reaching for, both for myself and for the love we share.