I never thought I’d be the type to suggest something like this, but after twelve years of marriage, I felt like John and I had settled into such a routine that it was beginning to feel stale. One night, over a bottle of wine, I nervously suggested we try spending a night with other people. John raised his eyebrows but didn’t shut down the idea. After a long discussion, we came up with ground rules: we’d each have a one-time-only, no-strings-attached night with someone else and share the experience later, open and honest.

My night came first, and I was a bundle of nerves. The man I met was charming, and although I was initially awkward, he made me laugh. I let myself enjoy the experience but knew in my heart it was all just for that night. The next day, I felt a strange mix of relief and excitement.

When I sat down with John to talk about it, I was surprised by how close I felt to him. He listened without judgment, asking questions, and even laughing with me about my initial clumsiness. When it was his turn, I felt anxious but also oddly at peace. When he came home, he told me his experience, and we felt this incredible intimacy, something we hadn’t felt in a while. The experiment reminded me that my heart belonged with him, and we ended up closer and more connected than ever.