I matched with a guy on Hinge, everything was going very well and we sort of flirted with each other, exchanged numbers, and even had our first date, which also went pretty well (bought me flowers, took me to a bookstore/museum, then headed to a cafe). We’ve also made immature dirty jokes but only to a little extent, and he’s told me multiple times if he’s making me uncomfortable I’d let him know. We both go to different universities that are kinda far from each other lol. Anyways, both of us were really busy with our studies and insisted on finding the right times to meet up but we continued to text each other as much as we could for a while.

So fast forward to a few weeks later I come back from an event, I text him, we’re having a normal conversation… and then the conversation slowly starts to get dirty and even more dirty on his end. I am really surprised and amused that he is doing this as I hadn’t expected this before, but at the same time, I was so tired and it was 1 am. So I do give in to the dirty text messages a little bit/as much as I could because 1) I’m tired and 2) I haven’t been introduced to THAT kind of texting before lmao. I genuinely found it amusing and wasn’t feeling uncomfortable.

Then it was like this for the next two days but I didn’t give in that much and then it’s the second day, and then he realizes he’s coming off too strong. He proceeds to apologize over and over again even though I didn’t really feel uncomfortable. I was like oh my god okay I forgive you LMAO? I didn’t feel like he was overdoing it that much everytime he texted me.

Anyways after that we were good and we went back to normal texting and we’re both going at our own paces, super busy and all sorts of things right. Even though everything was normal I was starting to feel like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. I was busy with my own stuff (i.e. uni life) and had reflected on how it’s affected my relationship with him. I was getting some icks all of a sudden and I was thinking because he’s too sappy and corny lol. But another part of me was thinking maybe this ick will be gone and that it could probably work out.

And then.. that’s when I was getting them. Two weeks later after the entire apologizing, I get home from campus after a long day, and I am just taking care of myself because I’m tired as hell, like I did a home workout lol. I go to text him, and then I tell him about my day, I told him I worked out, and all of a fucking sudden he made it dirty “are you up for another workout”. And mind you I’m tired I couldn’t even tell he was texting dirty. And at this point I’m dodging everything he’s saying and I’m trying to ignore everything he’s typing because I just want to talk about my day and have a genuine convo but he’s turning everything I type into smtg nasty (e.g. i said that i was typing and then he said “are you up for a little more than typing”).

Then he talks abt an event he’s performing in and then says he’ll send videos to me (bc I cant make it to the event lol i was busy) and then I texted something, VERY PURELY, “and I shall receive” and then he texts back “I can also help you receive-“ and then I sarcastically text him to stop, even though deep down I meant it and then he responds “wait are u fr or u playing” and then I said “im playing but for now stop im going to sleep” and then he says that’s understandable, then he apologies if he was coming off too strong.

It’s daylight the next day and I get a text message from him, apologizing to me and telling me what he did was wrong after heavy reflecting and afterwards he says “It was just very late and I was falling in and out of sleep but that’s no excuse and I’m sorry regardless” then WHY bring it up in the first place.

Mind you the guy would most of the time text past midnight (at some points he did text me during daytime) and I always found a little weird and I even joked about it on the date we had and he told me his sleep schedule is just simply messed up, and that’s totally fine but I’ve been aware of the fact that most men past midnight that are talking to someone happen to be really weird.

But anyways after what happened that night, I was feeling very annoyed because he pulled this on me when I’m tired and not in the mood to do all that. And then I forgave him and I set my boundaries with him, and he understood my perspective and he apologized again. At that point I wanted to ghost him and I had to keep an eye out for what he does if I were to not ghost him. A part of me wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but I didn’t feel like texting him at night because I was thinking what if he pulled this again.

I basically text him saying that I’m gonna be busy the next couple of weeks because of midterms and he understands that, and the conversations we had for the next two weeks were just really normal. But atp I wasn’t feeling interested as I was before now that I got a justified ick, and it felt like I was being forced to text to him. I was reflecting on it those past couple of days and I wanted to give him another chance but I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I even tried to get in the mood but I was really busy with my stuff, and I was slowly losing interest, even though I had genuinely enjoyed talking to him as I know he’s fun to talk to.

Then one day, after heavy reflecting, I finally came to that conclusion that I think I should just end it, but also ask him if he wanted to remain friends if he’s comfortable with it. I text him that night, and we haven’t got into that conversation, and I try my best to match his energy to have a normal conversation, and it works, but the conversation ends up becoming dirty on his end once again. It’s basically a fucking sequel of that other event, but this time I am replying back to them with some memes that make fun of horny people (i.e. bonk go to horny jail) and other memes lol. Tbf when someone types to me like that I obviously don’t know what to say and once again, I am DODGING the conversation. Then this mf starts to send really corny and dirty memes and I’m dodging these too, but in the back of my mind I was like “Oh that’s not.” So basically he was doing this shit all over again. And I really wanted to have a genuine conversation and I was getting annoyed again, even though I did laugh half of it off. And then he apologized again and then I left him on read because it was nearly 3 am in the morning.

And then he replies to me, asking how my day went and stuff, and then I reply it’s been going good and hbu then he responds to me abt his day and he apologizes again for what happened, and then he says “I know I said I won’t do it again and I’m sorry I truly mean it this time, hope we’re ok”. And at this point I have to tell him and I don’t even care how weird the timing is. So I text him that “it’s fine but I need to tell you something”. Then the next night I tell him that I wasn’t feeling interested anymore and he tells me that he feels the same (honestly we both didn’t have that much time for each other LMFAO). And I basically ask him if he’d be open to being friends. He said he was open to that.

Later on, this guy texts me “I feel bad for asking this and you could totally tell me if I’m in the wrong but would you be down to doing a temporary FWB thing? Our conversations have been getting intense iykwim” while also claiming that he’s fine with whatever I want to do and saying I can set boundaries if I want to. I tell him no because I’m not open to it. Once again he says he’s fine with it and gives those “no pressure” kinda texts lol.

Then he did something that made me question what the hell his intentions were when he was talking to me this entire time. This mf had the fucking nerve to be all “wait. Is there by any chance I can change your mind”. And once again I said no. I said no to him the first time, why is he still pushing it? I didn’t even expect him to ask this question at all because I was trying to give him chances and make adjustments and the moment he asked this question, was the moment I couldn’t do this. I didn’t even fully process how wrong this was until a couple of days after we stopped talking.

At the end he was respectful and comfortable with what I wanted to do and ended off on a good note by being friends, but hadn’t texted each other for a week (I didn’t wanna text back, and ig he needed space). These past couple of days, I had to reflect a lot of things that I feel went unnoticed including the fwb thing. One thing was that once I forgave him and was being nice, I felt like he thinks I’ll always let him off easy, and everytime he said he won’t do certain things, he’s done them anyways. Idk it felt like he just took advantage of my feelings. I realized this the moment he asked me if he could change my mind about the FWB thing. That question also made me wonder if he thinks of me as some sort of sex toy or some shit. The other reason why he was open to do a FWB thing was because I’m attractive. Another thing I got reminded of is when we were still talking, I told him I was new to the higher level of dirty talking. And then he said “nah I feel like you have experience” according to my energy and my looks I gave off to him. Another instance is when we were kinda dirty talking and when I told him I was going to sleep “Thought you were gonna type come sleep with me or smtg”. And then he goes “id be lying if I said I didn’t think about it”, and I think he said the same thing about masturbation (in which he never did but thought abt it).

When I was dodging his dirty texts and wanted to have genuine convos and I told my friends everything what had happened, they told me that he wasn’t getting social cues. And I could see why they thought that because if I’m dodging these messages then there’s obviously a reason why, and that he should be able to take the hint and stop. And at some point when I said “oh yeah I’ll talk more dirty later just not now”, and when I said it again the next day he jokingly said that I said that last time. Or when I kept sending that go to horny jail meme to him he jokingly said “fine just say you’re not in the mood-“ but deep down I know he meant them.

After all this reflecting and distance I’ve realized how disrespectful he was towards me and I couldn’t try to be friends after he’d made that FWB comment and everything. I don’t even think he wanted to be friends considering he didn’t text back for a week, and has some nerve asking “how’d your week go”. I ended up blocking him today. I didn’t owe him anything. I gave him so many tries to make it right. Everything he’s done has given me a completely different view of him.

TLDR: I matched with a guy on Hinge and went on a date with him, everything went well, but later on we became busy and he became a little too comfortable with me and I lost interest, and I slowly started to realize how disrespectful he was