My husband has always known about my past relationships, and I thought we had both made peace with it. But lately, he seems to be revisiting those old stories, digging up details I barely remember, and then comparing himself to men who are no longer part of my life. It’s painful to watch him spiral like this, tormenting himself with insecurities that, to me, feel completely unfounded. I love him deeply, but his fixation on my past is beginning to cast a shadow over our present.

He’ll ask questions that seem harmless at first: “Did he do things differently?” or “Did you laugh more with him?” But then, these questions turn into comparisons where he measures himself against long-gone memories. He’ll start picking at small details, like what I once found charming or funny about a past boyfriend, and he interprets my answers as judgments against him. I’ve tried reassuring him countless times that he’s the man I chose and the one I love, but it never seems to fully comfort him.

Instead, it feels as if he’s tormenting himself by bringing these things up, and I’m left helpless, unable to break him out of this cycle of self-doubt. I’ve asked him why he keeps doing this, and he says he just wants to understand. But to me, it feels like he’s searching for something that will only hurt him. I wish he could see himself the way I see him—unique, irreplaceable, and deserving of every bit of my love.

This constant revisiting of my past is exhausting, and it leaves me wondering how we can move forward when his insecurities keep pulling us back.