I had an affair with my husband’s friend for two years, and he found out after 18 years of marriage. The moment he discovered the truth, everything shattered—the trust we had built over nearly two decades, the comfort of our home, and the life we had created together. It was as if the ground beneath me had crumbled, leaving me grasping for something solid to hold onto while he stood there, devastated, with the betrayal painted across his face. There’s no way to explain why I did it that would make it any easier for him to understand or accept, but all I want now is a chance to make it right.

In the aftermath, my husband was consumed by a mix of pain, anger, and confusion. He couldn’t look at me without seeing the betrayal, and every conversation was laced with bitterness and distrust. I knew I had hurt him deeply, and it was clear that the damage wasn’t something that would just fade with time. I needed to find a way to help him move past this, to show him that despite the terrible mistake I made, our relationship was still worth saving.

I started by being completely open and honest, answering every question he had, no matter how painful it was for both of us. It felt like I was reopening the wound each time, but I knew he deserved the truth—everything I had hidden during those two years. It wasn’t easy; every word seemed to deepen his hurt, but I hoped that transparency could begin to rebuild the shattered trust between us. I knew I couldn’t ask for forgiveness right away; that would take time, and maybe it would never come. But I wanted him to see that I was genuinely remorseful, that I understood the gravity of what I had done.

Counseling was the next step. We went together, though it was clear he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay or go. Sitting across from a therapist, we talked about things we had never spoken about before—the cracks in our relationship, the loneliness I had felt, the ways we had drifted apart even before the affair. For the first time in years, we were being brutally honest with each other, laying everything bare. It was agonizing, but it also felt like a necessary step if we were ever going to move forward.

I know I can’t undo what I did, and I don’t expect the pain to disappear overnight. My only hope is that, through patience and persistence, he might be able to forgive me—not for my sake, but for his own healing and for the possibility of building something new out of the broken pieces. I’m working on becoming a better person, showing him every day that I’m committed to our relationship and that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to regain his trust. I can’t erase the past, but I hope we can still create a future where we’re stronger, more honest, and more connected than we ever were before.