It’s been a rollercoaster, this thing called marriage. The ups and downs have always been part of the ride, but lately, it feels like I’m stuck at the bottom of a steep slope. My husband and I have been together for years, building a life and a home, but recently, the warmth between us has dimmed, like the flicker of a candle in a drafty room. We’ve become roommates more than lovers, and the appreciation I once felt from him has vanished, replaced by silence, routine, and a sense of distance that grows every day.

I still remember when a simple glance from him would make me feel special, when his touch felt like it carried a thousand unspoken words. But now, there’s an emptiness, a space between us that seems to widen with every passing day. I try to reach out, to bridge the gap with gestures of affection—small notes, thoughtful touches, reminders of the connection we once shared—but they go unnoticed, dismissed like they were insignificant. And it hurts.

Deep down, I know I haven’t changed. I still feel vibrant, passionate, and, dare I say, beautiful. I haven’t lost the desire to feel attractive, to be seen, to be admired. But right now, it’s like I’m standing in a shadow, invisible to the person who once couldn’t take his eyes off me. I find myself questioning if I’m still desirable, if I’m still captivating like I used to be. There’s a longing to be told that I’m worth it, to have someone’s eyes linger on me, to hear a compliment that doesn’t feel forced or shallow.

I want to feel alive again. I want to know if I’m still hot, if there’s still something in me that can ignite a spark. Am I still someone worth looking at, worth holding, worth desiring? Or have I lost whatever it was that made me special, whatever it was that made me feel alive?

I don’t want to step out of my marriage; that’s not the answer I’m searching for. But I crave validation, a reminder that I’m not just a shadow in someone’s peripheral vision. I want to be told that I’m more than just a mother, a wife, or a partner—I want to be seen as a woman who still has fire, passion, and beauty inside her.

I need to find that part of myself again, to believe that I’m still worth the time, the words, the admiration I used to take for granted. I want to be seen, really seen, and not just by my husband, but by myself too.

Is it too much to want someone to tell me I’m still beautiful, still captivating, still worth it all? Or have I lost the right to desire that kind of attention, now that the years have started to show their marks?

I don’t know. But I need to find out.