So, been trying to navigate this whole mess and it’s just over, really – my marriage is done. He’s denying everything (probably scared of being recorded, but he’s not trying to convince me of anything – he knows I know).
Been trying to distract myself, dipping my toe into Tinder, and good bloody heavens you guys on Reddit sure know how to blow up my DNs. Didn’t realize how high in demand feet pics were, but I don’t mind – just let me get some nail polish and I can help some of yall with thst much, anyway.
Almost forgot, a respectful nod to Paul; Skype session was a much needed distraction, mate. But I’m really more into chubby guys – sorry I been ignoring your DMs, just bad with saying no to people. Nothing real personal, just wasn’t feeling your vibes.
There are so many little moments now, looking back. We used to have this painting business before we were married. There was this pastel pink house on 38th Street we did, for this flamboyantly gay Jeffrey Dahmer looking mother fucker – he wanted one side painted brown, and all the shutters brown, so a pink and brown house – the hose sprung a leak while I was spraying the side brown and some paint got all over this giant blue patio umbrella he had – and so the dude comes out like, “what the fuck? I’m not paying you for this shit!”
I was relieved when he payed and thought it was weird my fiance was just like, “oh, I gave him an online coupon and apologized, but they were in there for like fifteen minutes while I was throwing stuff in the back of the truck, and I asked my husband if he remembered sucking that dude’s dick or butthole sex or whatever it was back when we had the painting business, and he just goes “nah” but he was smirking and I’m just done.
Then there was that friend’s kid’s party, with the clown that my husband was all like “pretty sure he’s a gay clown”, probably sucked a clown dick. And then there was that super friendly youth minister on that camping trip my cousins invited us on that labor day weekend… I don’t even know or care anymore – I’m tired of thinking back.
Packing my bags, leaving his drunk ass alone, finally the reality of it all sinks in and all that shit. Mum’s been gracious enough to let me crash at her place and here’s to fresh beginnings – I’m drunk.
And to all guys who’ve been lucky enough to get those butt pics (you’re welcome), try to remember – it’s a privilege, not an entitlement. Stay classy and don’t be putting it on other subreddits or nothin.
And hey, if any of you are still intrigued, your girl here’s still willing and in for a good time. Seeking thrills, and nothing too serious, y’know?
So shot me a DM if you’re interested and a bit chubby with a five inch penis so you don’t hurt my cervix and can just rail me willy nilly, if we get thst far. I like to settle down with my mate and I’ll know you when I see you, as the one. I’m looking for love, not justs sex but you can have butt pics or feet pics or whatevs.
