Lately, I’ve been struggling with the growing distance between me and my husband, John. It’s as if we’re two ships passing in the night, barely acknowledging each other as we drift further apart. The spark we once had seems to have faded into the background, overshadowed by the weight of routine and unspoken tension. There was a time when we couldn’t wait to share our days with each other, when we would laugh over small things and talk late into the night. Now, our conversations feel like obligations, and I’m starting to wonder if we’ve lost that connection entirely.
I’ve tried so hard to keep things exciting, to reignite the passion that once seemed effortless between us. I plan little surprises—maybe a dinner at a new restaurant, a spontaneous weekend getaway, or just leaving a sweet note on his pillow. I even make an extra effort to look nice, dressing up when I know he’ll be home, hoping that maybe this time, he’ll notice. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t notice when I change my hairstyle or when I put on that dress he used to love. He doesn’t comment on the things I do to make our home feel warmer, cozier, or more special. It’s like I’m invisible to him, a background figure in the life we once shared.
Every time I make an effort, I’m left waiting for something—anything—a sign that he sees me, that he values me. But it doesn’t come. His responses are distant, his attention always elsewhere. Whether it’s his phone, the TV, or his work, it feels like I’m competing for a place in his life, and lately, I’m losing. The silence between us is deafening, and it’s a silence that feels so much more painful than any argument we could have.
I keep asking myself what happened, where things started to go wrong. I look back at the good times we had, the fun we shared, and wonder if it was all just a fleeting chapter. I don’t know how to reach him anymore. I try to talk about how I’m feeling, but the conversation always seems to fall flat. He tells me he’s busy, that work has been stressful, or that he’s tired. But I know there’s more to it than that. It’s like he’s shutting me out, and I can’t figure out why.
The worst part is that I’m not just lonely in this silence—I feel completely unseen. I’ve become someone who exists in his life, but I’m no longer a priority. I’ve put so much of myself into our marriage, into trying to make it work, and yet it feels like all my efforts are going unnoticed, unappreciated. I can’t help but feel like I’m fading into the background of my own life, watching as he drifts further and further away.
It’s heartbreaking, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to give up, but I also don’t want to keep pouring my heart into something that feels like it’s already slipping away. How do I find my way back to him when he’s no longer even trying to meet me halfway?