It’s hard to admit, but I cheated on my husband with my high school crush after meeting him again at our 25-year high school reunion. I’ve thought about that night countless times, trying to make sense of what happened, why it happened, and what it means for me and my marriage. The truth is, I had always dreamt of being with him, the one that got away, the one I had secretly pined for back in school. But life had different plans. We went our separate ways after graduation, and I eventually met my husband, whom I love dearly. We built a life together, had children, and went through the ups and downs that come with marriage.

But when I saw him again, everything from the past came rushing back. It was like no time had passed. There he was, the boy I had admired from afar all those years ago, looking even more handsome than I remembered. The way he smiled, the way his eyes locked with mine across the room—it stirred something inside me I hadn’t felt in years. We began talking, reminiscing about old times, and before I knew it, the connection between us was reignited. There was something magnetic about him, something that made me forget where I was and who I was with.

That night, we ended up alone together, and in that moment, I let my guard down. One thing led to another, and I ended up in his arms, living out a fantasy I had held onto for decades. The guilt hit me almost immediately. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I couldn’t undo it. I told myself it was a moment of weakness, that it didn’t change my love for my husband, but deep down, I knew that I had crossed a line. I had betrayed the trust that we had spent years building.

Coming home to my husband that night, pretending everything was normal, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I could see the love and trust in his eyes, and all I could think about was what I had just done. The weight of my actions has been haunting me ever since. I keep asking myself, What did it mean? Was it a fleeting mistake, or does it reveal something deeper about me, about my desires, or the cracks in my marriage that I had ignored for so long?

I love my husband. I always have. We’ve built a life together, and I don’t want to lose that. But this affair has shaken me to my core, and now I’m left to grapple with the consequences. I’m afraid to tell him, afraid of the pain it will cause, but at the same time, I know I can’t keep this secret forever. The guilt is suffocating, and I’m not sure how to move forward from here. How do I rebuild the trust that I’ve shattered? How do I face him after what I’ve done? I wish I could take it back, but I can’t, and now I have to find a way to live with it.