Hi. I’m married, but lately, it feels like the spark that once lit up our lives has started to dim. Over the past few months, things between us have faltered in ways I can’t quite articulate but can undeniably feel. The affection, the connection, the little gestures that once made me feel loved and seen—they’ve all but disappeared. My husband and I still go through the motions of life together, but there’s a distance between us now, an invisible wall that seems to grow taller with each passing day.

I’ve tried to address it, to talk about how I’m feeling, but it’s like my words get lost somewhere between us. He doesn’t seem to notice—or maybe he does but doesn’t know how to respond. Either way, the result is the same: I feel invisible. I crave the warmth of appreciation, the validation of knowing I’m still desired, still worth noticing. But it’s just not there anymore, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s me.

Am I not enough anymore? Have I lost the spark that once made me stand out to him? The thoughts swirl in my mind, keeping me awake at night. I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to see what he might see—or what he might not see anymore. I pick apart my reflection, wondering if time has stolen something from me, or if I’ve simply become too familiar, too routine, to be exciting.

I can’t help but think back to the days when I felt alive—when a single look could make my heart race, when I felt beautiful without needing to hear it. I miss that version of me. I miss feeling wanted. And now, more than ever, I find myself yearning to know if I still have that magic. Am I still attractive? Am I still desirable? Do I still have the power to make someone’s breath catch or their heart skip a beat?

Part of me feels guilty for even thinking this way, for craving validation outside my marriage. But another part of me just wants to feel seen again. I want to know that I’m still worth a second glance, still capable of igniting desire in someone’s eyes. I need to know that I haven’t completely faded into the background of my own life.

I don’t want to give up on my marriage. Deep down, I know there’s still love there, buried beneath the weight of routines, stress, and unspoken frustrations. But right now, I’m struggling to carry the loneliness that comes with feeling overlooked. I just want to feel wanted again—to know that I’m still me, that I haven’t disappeared entirely in the eyes of others, and most importantly, in my own.

Maybe I’m just looking for a spark—something, anything—that reminds me I’m still alive, still worth it, still hot. And maybe, just maybe, if I find that spark, I can bring it back into my marriage and reignite the flames we’ve let burn too low. Until then, I’m stuck in this space, trying to hold onto who I was while figuring out who I am now.