I cheated on my husband for 3 months with my best friend who was also married, so I didnt just cheat on my husband but also lied and stabbed his wife in the back. The reasons for this betrayal are something I am still trying to unravel through my individual counselling. Dday was 5 months ago and if there can be any saving grace in my story it is this part, where I admitted everything to his wife and gave her whatever messages and pictures I still had in my possession and then blocked my AP. And then I finally confessed to my husband about the affair. I still remember his face when I told him, and it will be etched in my memory forever. I realized in that moment just what I am capable of, and it was not a good feeling. He didnt deserve that and I was going to do everything in my power to heal him and myself too.

I started counselling 4 days after my confession and started reading anything I could find on infidelity, its reasons and how to help my husband recover all the while not drowning in my own shame but make some real progress both personally and in my relationship. I wont say we are healed but we are in a much better place as compared to 5 months ago and I have high hopes for what we are building. The aesthetics of our new relationship are not as shiny as our last one but its the foundation we are focusing on this time. He deserves my best version and he will get it.