My husband and I have been married for a few years now, and while we share a deep love for each other, there’s one issue that constantly shadows our relationship: his retroactive jealousy. It’s something I hadn’t even heard of until I experienced it firsthand. He has a hard time letting go of the fact that I had a life before him—relationships, experiences, and memories that he wasn’t part of.

At first, I thought his questions about my past were normal curiosity, but they gradually became more frequent and emotionally charged. He compares himself to the men I dated before we met, questioning whether they were more successful, better looking, or treated me better. Sometimes he’ll say things like, “I bet you didn’t have to deal with this when you were with him,” or “I’ll never measure up to the way he made you feel.”

I try to reassure him, explaining that my past relationships were just stepping stones that led me to him. I tell him that he’s the one I chose to marry, the one I want to grow old with. But his insecurities seem to have a life of their own, and they rear their head during arguments or even in quiet moments when I least expect it.

I love my husband and want to support him, but I’m starting to wonder if this behavior is normal. Is it something we can work through together, or is it a sign of a deeper issue that he needs to address on his own?