Lately, I’ve been feeling a heaviness in my marriage that I can’t quite shake. My husband, who is usually so caring and supportive, seems overly preoccupied with my past relationships. It’s not just the occasional comment or question—it’s a pattern that keeps surfacing, leaving me wondering if retroactive jealousy is a more common issue than I realized.

At first, I thought it was harmless. He’d ask me questions about my exes, and I answered honestly, believing that transparency would strengthen our bond. But as time went on, his curiosity turned into something more obsessive. He started comparing himself to them in ways that felt unnecessary and, at times, hurtful. “I bet he was better at this,” he’d say after a disagreement, or “Do you still think about how he used to make you feel?”

It’s exhausting, not just because I’ve already moved on from those relationships, but because I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove my love and commitment to him. No matter how many times I remind him that I chose him, that I love him for who he is, the doubts seem to linger in his mind.

I’ve tried to be patient and understanding, but it’s hard not to feel frustrated. My past wasn’t perfect—it shaped me, taught me lessons, and brought me to where I am today. But it’s in the past. I wish he could see that.

I’m starting to wonder if this is something we need help with, maybe counseling or therapy. I don’t know if retroactive jealousy is a common issue, but it’s definitely one that’s putting a strain on our relationship. And while I’m willing to fight for us, I also know that this is something he has to work on for himself.