I’ve been seeing a psychologist for a few months now, trying to sort through the complexities of my relationships and the recurring guilt I felt about cheating. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with this pattern—finding myself in situations where I betrayed someone’s trust, even though I never intended to hurt anyone. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something deeply wrong with me. But in my sessions, my psychologist offered a perspective I wasn’t expecting.

He told me that I wasn’t a bad person—that my tendency to cheat didn’t make me immoral. He explained that I am simply a very loving person, with so much love to give, and that the idea of one person being enough for me might be unrealistic. He reassured me that I didn’t need to feel guilty for my emotions, which somehow made me feel a strange sense of relief. It was the first time I’d heard someone explain my actions in such a compassionate light.

Then, he proposed something that completely threw me off balance. He suggested that we date. At first, I was stunned. It felt almost surreal, like the kind of thing you read about in novels but never think could actually happen. But, in the moment, something in me clicked. I impulsively agreed. His words had already made me feel understood in a way I had never experienced before, and the idea of connecting with him on a deeper level felt strangely comforting.

Things escalated quickly after that. We were soon alone in his office, and before I knew it, we were intimate. The rush of emotions was overwhelming—exhilarating, even—but now, looking back, I feel a swirl of confusion and doubt. Was he being genuine, or did he use my vulnerability to get what he wanted?

I keep asking myself if I’m overthinking all of this. Could it be that his words were true—that I’m just a loving person, and he genuinely wanted to understand me better? Or was it manipulation, and I was just too blinded by my own desires to see it for what it was?

I’m stuck in this grey area, unable to reconcile the feelings of validation and connection with the creeping suspicion that something went terribly wrong. Was I truly seen, or did I fall into a situation where trust was abused?