I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years now. We were young when we first got together, and I thought we had a love that could conquer anything. But early on, things weren’t as perfect as they seemed. He treated me badly, emotionally distant at times, and even cheated on me. I was devastated, but I was young and naïve, and I thought maybe I could forgive him and that things would get better. I believed in second chances, and after all, we had so much potential.

We moved forward, got married, and built a family together. We had children, and life became about managing the daily grind, the laughter, and the chaos that came with raising a family. I told myself that the past was behind us and that, despite the rough start, we could make it work. But somewhere around the 5th or 6th year, I began to feel resentment building up inside me. The things he had done, the way he treated me early on, it all started to resurface. I began questioning why I stayed and if I truly felt loved.

I felt trapped in this cycle, constantly trying to maintain a semblance of a happy family while feeling so empty inside. The bitterness crept into my thoughts, and I couldn’t ignore it. The emotional void I felt began to grow, and I started having urges to reach out to other men. It was never about falling for someone else, but more about feeling seen, desired, and appreciated in ways I hadn’t in a long time. I would daydream about the attention, the excitement, the validation I longed for but wasn’t getting from my husband.

I never acted on these urges, but the thoughts haunted me, leaving me feeling guilty and conflicted. I never thought I’d be this person—someone who considered stepping outside of their marriage, but the distance between us had become too vast. I feel lost, unsure of whether I should stay and try to rebuild everything, to work through the resentment and pain, or if it’s time to let go.

I love my husband, but I’m also tired. I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much for this marriage, but I can’t ignore the part of me that wonders if I deserve more than just survival. I’m stuck at a crossroads, unsure of what the future holds. Do I continue fighting for what we have, hoping that things will get better, or do I walk away to find the happiness and fulfillment I’ve been longing for?