The guilt I feel is unbearable. It weighs on me the moment I wake up and follows me into every corner of my day. It’s in the way he looks at me—sometimes distant, sometimes hurt—and in the quiet moments when I catch myself wishing I could take it all back. It’s a constant ache, a reminder that I crossed a line I swore I never would.

But as painful as this guilt is, it’s also the fire driving me to repair the damage I caused. I know I failed him. I know I failed us. Yet, instead of letting that failure consume me, I’ve decided to let it fuel me. I can’t change the past, but I can take responsibility for it and use it to become the partner I should have been all along.

I’ve started listening more—really listening—not just to what he says but to the things he doesn’t say. I’ve made it a point to show up for him in ways that matter, whether it’s the small, thoughtful gestures or simply being present when he needs me. I’ve stopped defending my actions, stopped making it about my own pain. This is about him now, about showing him that he matters more than my shame or my excuses.

The road ahead isn’t easy. There are still moments of silence between us that feel like walls I can’t break through. But I keep reminding myself that rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and unwavering commitment. The fire inside me burns for that second chance—not just to save our marriage but to prove to him, and to myself, that I can be the partner he always deserved.