My husband has a habit of obsessing over my past relationships. It’s something that’s been creeping into our marriage more and more, and I don’t know how to handle it. He keeps comparing himself to men I dated long before we even met, as if they’re still part of the equation when, in reality, they’ve been out of my life for years.

It’s not just occasional curiosity. He’ll bring up questions I’ve already answered or dig into details I’ve never shared, almost like he’s trying to solve a puzzle that doesn’t exist. “Did you love him more than me?” or “Was he better looking?” are questions that leave me speechless because no matter how I answer, it feels like I’m walking on eggshells. Sometimes, it feels like he’s searching for flaws in himself through the lens of my past, and no amount of reassurance seems to put his mind at ease.

I’ve tried to be patient, explaining that those relationships didn’t last for a reason, and that my life before him doesn’t diminish what we have now. But his fixation makes me feel like I’m being punished for things that shouldn’t even matter. I find myself wondering if this is more than just jealousy—if it’s a deeper insecurity or even a control issue.

I love my husband, but his constant need to measure himself against men who have no place in my life anymore is exhausting. It’s like he’s stuck in a competition he’s created in his mind, and I’m left questioning how we can move forward when he’s so focused on looking back.