I was unfaithful to my husband of 18 years, engaging in a relationship with his friend for two years before he discovered the truth. The moment he found out, I saw the depth of pain in his eyes, and it was like a mirror reflecting back the enormity of what I had done. The guilt and shame I carry for my betrayal are overwhelming, but I know that his pain is far greater. I’ve hurt someone who trusted me completely, someone who believed in our bond, and I can’t undo the damage I’ve caused.

What I can do, however, is take full accountability for my actions. I’ve stopped justifying or minimizing what I did because there is no excuse for the betrayal. I’ve apologized to him sincerely, but I know that words alone are not enough. My actions now must speak louder than anything I say. I need to show him, every single day, that I am committed to repairing the trust I’ve broken.

Healing will take time—maybe more time than I’m prepared for—but I know it’s necessary. I can’t rush his forgiveness or expect him to move on quickly. He has every right to feel hurt, angry, and unsure about the future. My role in this is to support him, not to pressure him. I need to give him the space he needs to process what’s happened, while I focus on proving my commitment to change.

I’ve started therapy to understand why I made these choices, and I’ve encouraged him to join me in couples counseling if and when he feels ready. I’m learning that rebuilding trust requires vulnerability, patience, and consistency. It means showing up every day as the person I should have been all along—someone who values honesty, loyalty, and respect.

I know there’s no guarantee that he will forgive me or that our marriage will survive this, but I’m willing to do the work. If we can get through this, I want our relationship to be stronger, built on a foundation of truth and mutual respect. And if he decides he can’t stay, I will accept that too, knowing that the only way forward is to learn, grow, and never repeat the mistakes of the past.