Throwaway, obviously. For context I am 23F and I have been with my partner 26M for 2 years.

Earlier in the year I had started a new job (service industry for perspective) and right after I started, my relationship with my partner got kind of rocky and things started going downhill. In that time, I had to start getting rides to and from work. My boss (Paul, M26) was mainly my transportation for work. We got really close and could confide in each other or so I thought. Most nights we wouldn’t leave work until almost 3am depending on how long it took to close so we would normally sit outside in his car for a few hours just talking and getting things off our chest. One night he kissed me and told me a whole bunch of nonsense. Basically along the lines of “you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met.” “I really like you but you scare me cause I’m your boss” “I could fall in love with you” “you should leave your boyfriend” “you deserve better”and really just made me feel really special at the time.

About a week after this kiss, my partner and I get into an unrelated fight that ended up with me leaving Our apartment. I call Paul, He suggest we grab drinks and watch a movie back at his place until I can get back into our apartment. I got way too drunk. Things went way to far. When I woke up, I got dressed and took a long walk home.

This was 3 months ago. I have felt guilty since. Work after that night became hard and unbearable because Paul had completely turned into an asshole to me and stopped giving me rides. It was rough and I ended up getting a new job and was going to slowly transition out of my current. That was until Paul got fired for something else and my job became easier. With Paul gone, I was able to vent about what he did and how he hurt me to another coworker and what she told me hurt me more. There were two girls working before me that Paul had slept with and then fired. I found out about a friend I am currently working with that also had relationship with Paul very similar to me. I really care about my friend and hate to think about her hurting the same way I do.

I feel awful in so many ways. I have been working hard with my partner to repair our relationship and I am afraid that telling him that I slept with my boss will destroy what we’ve been working on. I love him too much to keep this a secret, and I don’t want our future to be a closet of skeletons. How do I tell him?