I recently discovered that my husband cheated, and instead of taking responsibility, he’s trying to blame me for his infidelity. It’s unfair and hurtful, and I’m struggling to process how someone I trusted could betray me and then refuse to own up to it. The moment I found out, it felt like the world stopped spinning. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The man I vowed to spend my life with, the man I trusted with my heart, had shattered that trust in the worst possible way.

When I confronted him, I expected honesty, maybe even remorse. Instead, he deflected. He said I’ve been too busy with work, too distracted by the kids, too tired to give him the attention he needed. He said I didn’t make him feel wanted, that I didn’t prioritize our relationship. As if any of that could justify what he did. As if his choices were somehow my fault.

His words cut deeper than the betrayal itself because they made me question everything. Was I not enough? Did I fail him as a partner? I’ve spent nights replaying every argument, every moment of distance, wondering if I missed the signs or if I could have done something differently. But no matter how much I turn it over in my mind, I know the truth: he made the choice to cheat. Not me.

What hurts the most is the lack of accountability. Instead of owning up to his actions, he’s twisting the narrative to make himself the victim. It’s manipulative and cruel, and it’s left me feeling like I’m the one who’s done something wrong. I’m angry, hurt, and exhausted—emotionally drained from trying to make sense of something that feels so senseless.

I’ve always believed that relationships are built on trust and communication, but now I’m not sure what to believe. How can I trust him again when he won’t even admit what he did? How can I move forward when he’s more focused on shifting blame than repairing the damage he’s caused?

I don’t know what the future holds for us. Part of me wants to fight for our marriage, to try to rebuild what’s been broken. But another part wonders if it’s even worth it. Can a relationship survive without honesty and accountability? Can I ever look at him the same way again?

For now, I’m taking things one day at a time, trying to process my emotions and figure out what I want. One thing I know for sure is that I didn’t deserve this. No one does. And no amount of blame-shifting can change the fact that he’s the one who broke our vows, not me.