My husband has retroactive jealousy—an obsession with my past relationships—and no matter how much I reassure him, it never seems to be enough. He constantly compares himself to men I dated before I even met him, as if he’s in some invisible competition that only he can see.

At first, I thought it was just curiosity. A harmless interest in who I was before I became his wife. But over time, it turned into something more toxic. He’d bring up old boyfriends during arguments, questioning whether they made me happier or if they were somehow “better” than him. The questions became relentless—Did they love me more? Was I more passionate with them? Did I ever think about them when I was with him?

I tried to remind him that I chose him, that I married him, but it never seemed to quiet the insecurities lurking beneath his surface. It’s exhausting, walking on eggshells around the ghosts of my own past. It’s as if he’s more focused on the men who no longer exist in my life than the man who stands beside me today.

I don’t know if this is just deep insecurity or something else entirely. But I do know that love isn’t supposed to feel like an interrogation. I married a partner, not a detective obsessed with rewriting my past. How do you move forward when someone refuses to stop looking backward?