Is it normal for a husband to feel threatened by his wife’s past, or is it a sign of deeper insecurity? That’s the question I find myself asking every time my husband brings up the men who came before him. It’s not that I talk about them—I don’t. They are chapters in my life that have long since closed. But in his mind, they remain wide open, their presence looming over us like ghosts he can’t exorcise.
At first, I brushed it off as harmless curiosity. Maybe a little insecurity, the kind we all feel at times. But as the months went by, it became clear that this wasn’t just a passing concern—it was a fixation. He doesn’t just wonder about my past; he lets it define him. Was he more successful? Did he love you more? Did you feel more passion with him? Questions that should have no place in a marriage built on trust and love.
I tell him he is the man I chose. That I don’t compare because there is no comparison to make. But my words are never enough to silence the doubts in his mind. It’s not really my past that haunts him—it’s his own fears, his own sense of worth.
I wonder how long I can keep reassuring him before I start to feel exhausted. Because love should feel like a safe place, not a battlefield where I must prove, over and over again, that he is enough.