Throwaway account as you can tell from my username. As the title says, I’m a virgin (52 years old, female) and this fact makes me depressed. Growing up I was an introvert and had bad self-esteem, even though I come from a loving family. While I feel like my looks have improved and I’ve started working out recently, I am still nowhere as good-looking as the popular girls I grew up being surrounded by in school.

Never been in a relationship because of the reasons mentioned and I haven’t had the time or chances to meet someone new now because of adult life – just my job and my usual routine.

I tried using dating apps, but matched with very few people and a lot of times I don’t know how to talk to them, or they just give half-assed replies that make it hard to keep the conversation going.

I’ve told some people about this and they have been kind, telling me I will find someone but it only makes me even more desperate and impatient, since I don’t know if my situation will ever change.

Going to a bar and trying to find someone to hook up with is something I’ve tried before, but I always ended up chickening out and feeling anxious when someone approaches me, and I realised that I wanted someone I know well, but also I don’t want to wait anymore and just get it over with.

Typing this has been cathartic. If you have made it this far, thank you for reading.