Even though we’re married, my husband can’t stop bringing up my past relationships and how he compares to them. At first, I thought it was normal—after all, everyone has some curiosity about their partner’s history. But as time passed, his curiosity didn’t fade; it grew. What started as innocent questions became an obsession, and now it feels like my past has taken up permanent space in our marriage.

He wants to know every detail. What were they like? Were they more successful, more attractive, more attentive? Did they love me more? Sometimes, the questions seem harmless, like he’s just trying to understand me better. But other times, there’s a sharp edge to them, a need for validation that I can never fully satisfy.

No matter how much I reassure him, it’s never enough. If I tell him he’s the best man I’ve ever been with, he asks if I’m just saying that to make him feel better. If I avoid answering, he assumes the worst. It’s exhausting, this constant need to prove that he is my present and future, not just another name on a list.

I love my husband, but I can’t help but wonder—why does he need to compete with men who no longer matter? Is this a red flag, a sign of something deeper? Or is it just insecurity that will pass with time? And if it doesn’t, will our marriage always be haunted by ghosts I never meant to bring along?