My mom always joked that I’d have trouble finding a man because of my strong personality. She’d say it with a laugh, but I could tell there was a hint of truth in her words. According to her, men prefer women who are softer, more agreeable, less opinionated. “You scare them away,” she’d tease whenever I stood my ground in an argument or refused to back down from something I believed in.

I used to brush it off, confident that love wasn’t about being quiet or submissive. But as I got older, I started to wonder—was she right? I’ve watched friends settle into relationships that seemed to come so easily, while I’ve found myself struggling to meet someone who truly understands and appreciates me. I’ve had men tell me I’m “too much,” that I should tone it down, that I should be more like this or less like that. And for a moment, I wondered if I should.

But then I remind myself—why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t love me exactly as I am? I don’t want a man who feels intimidated by my strength; I want one who admires it, who challenges me, who stands beside me as my equal.

So, I hope my mom was wrong. I hope love isn’t about being smaller, quieter, or easier to handle. I hope it’s about finding someone who sees my fire and isn’t afraid to stand in its warmth.