Growing up, my mom would often say that finding the right man might be a challenge for me. She never said it in a mean-spirited way, but rather as an observation—one that always made me roll my eyes. “You’re too picky,” she’d say with a knowing smile. “You don’t let anyone tell you what to do, and men like to feel needed.” I never took it too seriously. After all, wasn’t love supposed to be about respect, partnership, and finding someone who truly sees you for who you are?

But as I’ve gotten older, I sometimes wonder if she was right. Relationships have never come easily for me. I know what I want, and I refuse to settle for less, but that seems to make dating more difficult, not less. I’ve had men tell me I’m too independent, too opinionated, too unwilling to compromise. It’s frustrating—why should wanting an equal partnership be a flaw?

Still, I hold onto hope. I believe there’s someone out there who won’t see my strength as a problem but as something to admire. Someone who won’t need me to shrink myself just to make them feel bigger.

So, hopefully, my mom was wrong. Maybe love isn’t about making yourself easier to handle—maybe it’s about finding someone who can handle you just as you are.