Being married should mean building a future together, but for my husband, the past seems to hold more weight than the present. He struggles with retroactive jealousy, constantly measuring himself against my past partners as if he’s in a never-ending competition—one that only exists in his own mind.

At first, I didn’t take it seriously. I assumed his occasional questions about my exes were just normal curiosity. But soon, they became a pattern. He would ask what they looked like, what kind of dates we went on, how they treated me. He wanted to know if they were wealthier, more attractive, more exciting than he is. No matter how much I reassured him, it was never enough.

The worst part? No one is forcing him to do this. No one is comparing him but himself. He has taken it upon himself to dig into a past that I have long since left behind. It’s a self-inflicted pain, a wound he keeps reopening. And for what? To prove to himself that he’s better? Or to confirm some deep-seated fear that he isn’t?

I love him, but watching him spiral into this obsession is exhausting. I chose him, I married him—yet he acts as if he still has something to prove. At what point does reassurance turn into enabling? And how long can a marriage survive when one partner refuses to let go of a battle that was never his to fight?