Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, a bond built on trust and love. Yet, my husband seems more focused on competing with men who no longer exist in my life than appreciating the life we share now. He is obsessed with my past relationships, constantly comparing himself to my exes, as if their presence still lingers in the shadows of our marriage.

At first, it was subtle—casual questions about my dating history, lighthearted jokes about past boyfriends. But as time went on, his curiosity turned into an obsession. He wants to know everything: Were they taller? Stronger? Did they make me happier? Did they satisfy me in ways he cannot? No matter how many times I tell him that the past is irrelevant, that I chose him for a reason, it never seems to be enough.

The strangest part is that none of my exes ever did anything to make him feel this way. He is the one constantly bringing them into our conversations, into our bed, into his own mind. It makes me wonder—what kind of man does this to himself? Instead of standing confidently in his own worth, he measures himself against ghosts, allowing insecurities to eat away at him.

Is this just a personal flaw, or does it say something deeper about his masculinity? A strong man wouldn’t feel threatened by the past. A secure man wouldn’t need to compare. So why does he? And how long can I keep reassuring him before it drains me completely?