Love should be about growing together, creating new memories, and cherishing what we have. But for my husband, the past seems more important than the present. His retroactive jealousy has become a dark cloud over our marriage, making him fixate on my past relationships, constantly drawing comparisons that don’t need to exist.

It started with harmless curiosity—small questions about my dating history, playful remarks about exes. But over time, those moments became more frequent, more serious. He started asking if they treated me better, if they were more romantic, if they made me feel a deeper kind of love. Even in the most intimate moments, I can sense his insecurity lurking beneath the surface. It’s like he’s searching for proof that he’s somehow “less than” the men who came before him.

But the truth is, his obsession is pushing him toward the very thing he fears—losing me. Every time he dwells on the past, he distances himself from the present. Every time he seeks validation, he creates doubt where none existed before. No one is making him feel this way but himself. This isn’t just insecurity—it’s self-sabotage.

How do you convince someone to stop fighting a battle that doesn’t need to be fought? How do you love someone who refuses to believe they are enough? I chose him, but if he keeps destroying his own happiness, I’m afraid he will also destroy us.