My husband and I have built a life together, but there’s one shadow that lingers over our marriage—his constant comparison to the men from my past. No matter how much I reassure him, he seems unable to let go of the idea that he is somehow in competition with them. It’s not just casual curiosity; it’s an obsessive pattern. He asks about old relationships, wants to know details I’d rather leave behind, and even measures himself—his looks, his success, his worth—against people who are no longer part of my life.

At first, I thought it was just a phase, a passing insecurity that would fade with time. But instead of getting better, it has deepened. He brings up things I’ve long forgotten, dissecting my past as if looking for proof that he is “better” than those who came before him. The irony is that I chose him. I married him. And yet, he seems unable to see that he is the only one who matters now.

I can’t help but wonder—what drives this? Is it a fear of not measuring up? A lack of self-esteem? Or something deeper that even he doesn’t fully understand? I love my husband, but his obsession with my past makes me feel like a witness to his own internal struggle rather than a partner in our present. How do you convince someone that they are enough when they refuse to believe it themselves?