As a married woman, I expect my relationship to be built on trust, love, and the life we are creating together. But instead, I find myself constantly pulled back into a past I’ve long since moved on from—because my husband won’t let it go. He fixates on my past relationships, bringing up old boyfriends, asking unnecessary questions, and comparing himself to men who are no longer part of my life. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and at times, even hurtful.

At first, I thought it was just harmless curiosity. But as time went on, his questions became more invasive, his tone more insecure. He wants to know details—who was better at what, who made me laugh more, who I loved most. Even if I downplay my past, it doesn’t seem to ease his concerns. Instead, it fuels his need to analyze, to compare, to dissect.

I can’t help but wonder—what is this really about? Is it simple possessiveness, a need to feel like the most important man in my life? Or is it something deeper, something rooted in his own fears and self-doubt? I reassure him constantly, tell him he is the only man who matters, but it never seems to be enough.

How do you love someone who is at war with ghosts? How do you convince them that they are already the winner when they refuse to stop competing?