Marriage is supposed to be about building a future together, yet my husband seems fixated on the past—my past. No matter how much time passes, he keeps bringing up the men I dated before him, almost obsessively. At first, I thought it was just natural curiosity, something many partners might wonder about. But as time went on, it became clear that this wasn’t just idle interest. It was an insecurity that ran deep, a wound that wouldn’t close no matter how much I reassured him.
He asks questions that make me uncomfortable—who they were, how serious we were, what kind of memories I have with them. If I avoid answering, he accuses me of hiding something. If I do answer, it only seems to feed his obsession. I’ve told him time and time again that none of them compare to him, that he’s the only man I want, yet he continues to measure himself against people who are no longer relevant in my life.
I can’t help but wonder—does this stem from low self-esteem? A fear of not being enough? Or is it something deeper, something rooted in his own unresolved past? His need for validation is exhausting, and no matter how much love I show him, it never seems to be enough. I married him, not my past. So why does it feel like he’s the one who won’t let it go? And more importantly, will he ever?