Despite being my husband, the man I chose to spend my life with, he still can’t seem to shake the presence of my exes. They don’t exist in my world anymore—I’ve moved on, built a life with him. But in his mind, they linger like ghosts, figures he measures himself against, competitors in a race that ended long ago.

It started with small comments, casual questions about my dating history. I didn’t think much of it at first; after all, it’s natural to be curious. But as time went on, those questions became more frequent, more pointed. He wanted to know how serious my past relationships were, what those men were like, and—most uncomfortably—how he compares. Did they make me laugh more? Were they more attractive? Did I ever love one of them more than I love him?

No matter how I answer, it never seems to be enough. If I downplay the past, he assumes I’m hiding something. If I answer honestly, he picks apart my words, searching for proof that he doesn’t measure up. It’s exhausting, and more than that, it’s heartbreaking.

I can’t help but wonder—does this stem from deep-seated insecurity? Or is it something else entirely? A need for control? A fear of not being enough? I married him, not my past. But until he lets go of his obsession, I feel like I’m trapped between the life we should be building and the ghosts he refuses to put to rest.