I always believed that trust was the foundation of a strong marriage. Now, that foundation has been completely shattered. My husband’s infidelity has broken something deep inside me, and while the betrayal itself is devastating, what hurts even more is his refusal to take responsibility. Instead of owning up to what he’s done, he insists that I’m the reason he cheated.

When I confronted him, I expected guilt, maybe even an apology. But instead, he listed all the ways I had supposedly failed him. He told me I wasn’t affectionate enough, that I had changed, that I didn’t prioritize him the way I used to. As if any of that justified him stepping outside our marriage. I stood there, listening, stunned. For a moment, I actually started to believe him. Had I really let things slip? Could I have done something differently?

But then I realized what was happening—he wasn’t just deflecting responsibility, he was manipulating me into carrying the guilt for his actions. The truth is, no matter what struggles we had in our marriage, he had a choice. He could have talked to me, gone to counseling, or fought for us. Instead, he chose to betray me. That is not my fault.

So how do I respond to this? Do I stay and keep fighting for someone who refuses to own up to his mistakes? Or do I walk away and start fighting for myself? One thing I know—I will not accept blame for something I didn’t do.