Sara had always been drawn to stability and confidence, qualities she found in abundance in married men. It wasn’t something she sought out intentionally—it just happened. Every time she met someone new who intrigued her, she would discover, almost inevitably, a wedding band tucked away. It made her uneasy, the pattern of her attractions, but it was a fact she couldn’t deny.

One evening, at a coworker’s retirement party, Sara found herself seated next to Nathan, a new manager from a different department. He was charming, intelligent, and, to Melanie’s dismay, he wore a gold band on his left hand. As they talked, Sara felt the familiar stir of interest and the accompanying twinge of guilt.

Later that night, lying awake in bed, she thought about Nathan and the easy way he had made her laugh. She also thought about the ring that signified his commitment to someone else. It was a moment of clarity. Sara realized she needed to understand what drew her to unavailable men. Was it a fear of commitment, a feeling that these relationships were safe because they had built-in boundaries?